Volsungadrunka (Volsung Drinking Song)

Lanea on Feb 15th 2016

I sing a drunk song of Volsunga
We drink till the kegs all run dry
We’ll feed you to end all your hunger
Or we’ll jam a sharp stick in your eye

B’reckha our flaxen-haired charmer
So comely so sweet and so true
Comes with a brute clad in armor
Who’ll trounce you till you’re black and blue
Then she’ll moisten her lips with ambrosia
And she’ll scrub and she’ll clean and she’ll nurse
And she’ll waggle the taut ass of asking
And you’ll realize you’re under her curse

Young Ulrik’s head grazes the rafters
In every long-hall and tent
And he charms all the ladies with laughter
Until all the bottles are spent
Just steer clear of his sword and his pole axe
Unless you’ve grown tired of your head
Or he’ll take it so quickly with one whack
To keep at the foot of his bed.

Veruchka Veruchka Veruchka!
Has beauty and talent to spare
From the top of her milky white . . . knee caps
To the end of her raven dark hair
From the tip of her glimmering dagger
To the back of her hot iron pan
Be it love or quick death makes you stagger
She’ll leave you much less of a man

Our Kelby’s as tall as an oak tree
With shoulders as broad as a door
And his melodies welcome all parties
As his heel beats out time on the floor
But beware of those knives in his tool kit
Watch your step if his cauldron’s a-boil
For he’ll empty your skin just to tan it
And adorn the long hall with your spoils

Kaesuela (Etaine) will rouse you with epics
Or she’ll ply you with lager and ale
Or she’ll feast you with grilled pork and dainties
And stories that never grow stale
But watch out when her succulent cheeses
Make their way into simmering pots
For the Cheese Owl must take her own victims
Avec frommage, like it or not

Red Ruadhan’s/Saskia’s curves draw our attention
And her flute sweetens every refrain
And her smile is just too sweet to mention
But don’t make her eyes cry in the rain
For her scissors are sharper than razors–
Her needles as quick as a wink
And she’ll roast your entrails in the brazier
And stitch you up ‘fore you can blink

© 2013 Amy Ripton

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